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Putting the Permanent Press on Laundry Day

Contrary to popular teen perception, fishy. I guess they didn't do their
parents don't like to rag endlessly. It's laundry either. Where were their mothers?
just a necessity due to our knowledge of Complimenting the kids' fleecing of foul
basic scientific principles like that odors were clothing "extensions." The
germs can make you sick, or even worse, kids were supplementing their wardrobes
smelly. with clothing items begged, borrowed or
While we are mildly entertained by some bought new, rather than putting the dirty
excuses our children use for not doing ones in a machine, adding soap and
what we ask, most leave us lukewarm. Like pressing a button. After all, lifting a
my children's latest, "But Mom, we're finger might bring on a debilitating
concerned for your finances and we're condition, like developing personal
saving you a fortune in water bills by responsibility or breaking a nail. I also
not doing laundry." found out that my children and their
What a load of ….dirty laundry. friends were in a conspiracy, passing
The concern for finances was touching but their clothing back and forth to support
it didn't hold water. I should have been their bad habits for weeks. (It all says
tipped off when I passed my son's room Old Navy - how was I supposed to know?)
and had un-explicable high school To keep our kids clean, we moms have
flashbacks. Now I get it. My locker was started our own 12 step program. Twelve
near the boy's gym for four years. steps to the washing machine, every
My bad for not conducting weekly room weekend. And like 007, we use special
inspections or checking laundry soap intelligence tools: laundry pen markings
bottles for changes. I missed the to identify our own kids' clothing in
sledding hill-sized pile of laundry in secret locations that only we are privy
the corner and the impacted laundry to. Not very high tech but we don't have
hamper needing the "Jaws of Life" to access to a spy lab and Money Penny won't
extricate the clothing crammed inside. put our calls through to Q.
I'm hoping the wrinkles from being Now I conduct unannounced hamper
semi-permanently pressed through the inspections, routine spot checks and have
lattice work sides like meat through a a designated laundry day schedule. It's a
grinder will work out in the wash. strict regime, but I'm hard pressed to
I fell for the oldest trick in the book - find a better method.
disguises. Apparently, if you use enough As for my kids' money saving excuse, they
body spray or perfume, it works like need to learn to spin a bit better. We
olfactory whitewash. My dad hated perfume have well water and don't pay a dime for
and if anyone used it he would say they it. I broke the good news, and they
smelled like a French whore. Once I asked looked very relieved. Or was that
him how he knew what they smelled like. I reviled? At any rate, those drips are
never got an answer so it was all very going to wash and dry all weekend. Sweet.




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