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Putting the Permanent Press on Laundry Day

Contrary to popular teen perception, parentsdo their laundry either. Where were their
don't like to rag endlessly. It's just amothers?
necessity due to our knowledge of basic
scientific principles like that germs canComplimenting the kids' fleecing of foul
make  you  sick,  or  even  worse,  smelly.odors were clothing "extensions." The kids
were supplementing their wardrobes with
While we are mildly entertained by someclothing items begged, borrowed or bought
excuses our children use for not doing whatnew, rather than putting the dirty ones in a
we ask, most leave us lukewarm. Like mymachine, adding soap and pressing a button.
children's latest, "But Mom, we're concernedAfter all, lifting a finger might bring on a
for your finances and we're saving you adebilitating condition, like developing
fortune in water bills by not doing laundry."personal responsibility or breaking a nail. I
also found out that my children and their
What  a  load  of  â€¦.dirty  laundry.friends were in a conspiracy, passing their
clothing back and forth to support their bad
The concern for finances was touching but ithabits for weeks. (It all says Old Navy - how
didn't hold water. I should have been tippedwas  I  supposed  to  know?)
off when I passed my son's room and had
un-explicable high school flashbacks. Now ITo keep our kids clean, we moms have started
get it. My locker was near the boy's gym forour own 12 step program. Twelve steps to the
four  years.washing machine, every weekend. And like 007,
we use special intelligence tools: laundry
My bad for not conducting weekly roompen markings to identify our own kids'
inspections or checking laundry soap bottlesclothing in secret locations that only we are
for changes. I missed the sledding hill-sizedprivy to. Not very high tech but we don't
pile of laundry in the corner and thehave access to a spy lab and Money Penny
impacted laundry hamper needing the "Jaws ofwon't  put  our  calls  through  to  Q.
Life" to extricate the clothing crammed
inside. I'm hoping the wrinkles from beingNow I conduct unannounced hamper inspections,
semi-permanently pressed through the latticeroutine spot checks and have a designated
work sides like meat through a grinder willlaundry day schedule. It's a strict regime,
work  out  in  the  wash.but I'm hard pressed to find a better method.
I fell for the oldest trick in the book -As for my kids' money saving excuse, they
disguises. Apparently, if you use enough bodyneed to learn to spin a bit better. We have
spray or perfume, it works like olfactorywell water and don't pay a dime for it. I
whitewash. My dad hated perfume and if anyonebroke the good news, and they looked very
used it he would say they smelled like arelieved. Or was that reviled? At any rate,
French whore. Once I asked him how he knewthose drips are going to wash and dry all
what they smelled like. I never got an answerweekend. Sweet.
so it was all very fishy. I guess they didn't



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