| Contrary to popular teen perception, | | | | were their mothers? |
| parents don't like to rag endlessly. | | | | Complimenting the kids' fleecing of foul |
| It's just a necessity due to our | | | | odors were clothing "extensions." The |
| knowledge of basic scientific principles | | | | kids were supplementing their wardrobes |
| like that germs can make you sick, or | | | | with clothing items begged, borrowed or |
| even worse, smelly. | | | | bought new, rather than putting the |
| While we are mildly entertained by some | | | | dirty ones in a machine, adding soap and |
| excuses our children use for not doing | | | | pressing a button. After all, lifting a |
| what we ask, most leave us lukewarm. | | | | finger might bring on a debilitating |
| Like my children's latest, "But Mom, | | | | condition, like developing personal |
| we're concerned for your finances and | | | | responsibility or breaking a nail. I |
| we're saving you a fortune in water | | | | also found out that my children and |
| bills by not doing laundry." | | | | their friends were in a conspiracy, |
| What a load of ….dirty laundry. | | | | passing their clothing back and forth to |
| The concern for finances was touching | | | | support their bad habits for weeks. (It |
| but it didn't hold water. I should have | | | | all says Old Navy - how was I supposed |
| been tipped off when I passed my son's | | | | to know?) |
| room and had un-explicable high school | | | | To keep our kids clean, we moms have |
| flashbacks. Now I get it. My locker was | | | | started our own 12 step program. Twelve |
| near the boy's gym for four years. | | | | steps to the washing machine, every |
| My bad for not conducting weekly room | | | | weekend. And like 007, we use special |
| inspections or checking laundry soap | | | | intelligence tools: laundry pen markings |
| bottles for changes. I missed the | | | | to identify our own kids' clothing in |
| sledding hill-sized pile of laundry in | | | | secret locations that only we are privy |
| the corner and the impacted laundry | | | | to. Not very high tech but we don't have |
| hamper needing the "Jaws of Life" to | | | | access to a spy lab and Money Penny |
| extricate the clothing crammed inside. | | | | won't put our calls through to Q. |
| I'm hoping the wrinkles from being | | | | Now I conduct unannounced hamper |
| semi-permanently pressed through the | | | | inspections, routine spot checks and |
| lattice work sides like meat through a | | | | have a designated laundry day schedule. |
| grinder will work out in the wash. | | | | It's a strict regime, but I'm hard |
| I fell for the oldest trick in the book | | | | pressed to find a better method. |
| - disguises. Apparently, if you use | | | | As for my kids' money saving excuse, |
| enough body spray or perfume, it works | | | | they need to learn to spin a bit better. |
| like olfactory whitewash. My dad hated | | | | We have well water and don't pay a dime |
| perfume and if anyone used it he would | | | | for it. I broke the good news, and they |
| say they smelled like a French whore. | | | | looked very relieved. Or was that |
| Once I asked him how he knew what they | | | | reviled? At any rate, those drips are |
| smelled like. I never got an answer so | | | | going to wash and dry all weekend. |
| it was all very fishy. I guess they | | | | Sweet. |
| didn't do their laundry either. Where | | | | |