| Contrary to popular teen perception, parents don't | | | | their laundry either. Where were their mothers? |
| like to rag endlessly. It's just a necessity due to our | | | | Complimenting the kids' fleecing of foul odors were |
| knowledge of basic scientific principles like that germs | | | | clothing "extensions." The kids were supplementing |
| can make you sick, or even worse, smelly. | | | | their wardrobes with clothing items begged, |
| While we are mildly entertained by some excuses our | | | | borrowed or bought new, rather than putting the |
| children use for not doing what we ask, most leave | | | | dirty ones in a machine, adding soap and pressing a |
| us lukewarm. Like my children's latest, "But Mom, | | | | button. After all, lifting a finger might bring on a |
| we're concerned for your finances and we're saving | | | | debilitating condition, like developing personal |
| you a fortune in water bills by not doing laundry." | | | | responsibility or breaking a nail. I also found out that |
| What a load of ….dirty laundry. | | | | my children and their friends were in a conspiracy, |
| The concern for finances was touching but it didn't | | | | passing their clothing back and forth to support their |
| hold water. I should have been tipped off when I | | | | bad habits for weeks. (It all says Old Navy - how |
| passed my son's room and had un-explicable high | | | | was I supposed to know?) |
| school flashbacks. Now I get it. My locker was near | | | | To keep our kids clean, we moms have started our |
| the boy's gym for four years. | | | | own 12 step program. Twelve steps to the washing |
| My bad for not conducting weekly room inspections | | | | machine, every weekend. And like 007, we use |
| or checking laundry soap bottles for changes. I | | | | special intelligence tools: laundry pen markings to |
| missed the sledding hill-sized pile of laundry in the | | | | identify our own kids' clothing in secret locations that |
| corner and the impacted laundry hamper needing the | | | | only we are privy to. Not very high tech but we |
| "Jaws of Life" to extricate the clothing crammed | | | | don't have access to a spy lab and Money Penny |
| inside. I'm hoping the wrinkles from being | | | | won't put our calls through to Q. |
| semi-permanently pressed through the lattice work | | | | Now I conduct unannounced hamper inspections, |
| sides like meat through a grinder will work out in the | | | | routine spot checks and have a designated laundry |
| wash. | | | | day schedule. It's a strict regime, but I'm hard |
| I fell for the oldest trick in the book - disguises. | | | | pressed to find a better method. |
| Apparently, if you use enough body spray or | | | | As for my kids' money saving excuse, they need to |
| perfume, it works like olfactory whitewash. My dad | | | | learn to spin a bit better. We have well water and |
| hated perfume and if anyone used it he would say | | | | don't pay a dime for it. I broke the good news, and |
| they smelled like a French whore. Once I asked him | | | | they looked very relieved. Or was that reviled? At |
| how he knew what they smelled like. I never got an | | | | any rate, those drips are going to wash and dry all |
| answer so it was all very fishy. I guess they didn't do | | | | weekend. Sweet. |